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So what happens when this new generation of men finds itself alone after 35?
First is the worry that everyone who is left on the dating market is damaged goods.
But worse is the anxiety surrounding the additional pressure on a relationship in the early going.
Some of this the transience of the early adulthood years, while fun and exhilarating, also contributes to the unease of hitting your mid-thirties without a spouse.“This is the first time, at 35, I’ve decided I want to stay in one place for the foreseeable future,” said Charles, a policy analyst in Washington, D.
C., who asked that his first name only be used for fear of never going on another date again.
At 42, Dan Crane, a Los Angeles-based writer, froze his sperm, an experience he chronicled in The New York Times.
“I think the problem for me was that up until a few years ago, we all just assumed that men were off the hook for these problems and we could all just keep pretending we were in our twenties until the right girl came along and we could have a kid in our mid-forties, but studies have suggested that’s not the case, which was the impetus for freezing my sperm and for being slightly panicked,” said Crane, now 43, who divorced recently and is childless.Lerer points to Exhibit A: his best-looking guy friend, who is 29 and “slaying it” in the dating world.“He can’t avoid getting laid when he goes out, but behind closed doors it’s a different story.The research Crane was referring to has linked older fathers to schizophrenia and autism in children.Also, sperm quality declines with age, making conception more difficult.He is desperately looking for someone to love, a girlfriend.